


Blood Roses and Red Ribbons

by Amelita



Category: Finder no Hyouteki | Finder Series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-19
Updated: 2014-11-19
Packaged: 2018-02-26 05:56:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2640593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amelita/pseuds/Amelita
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your body is your only true dominion. If you cannot control what happens to it, can you really control anything at all?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blood Roses and Red Ribbons

It had become an obsession.

It itched at him. From the moment he woke up to the moment he went to sleep.

Every time he looked in the mirror…. he wondered.

Last week when he gotten sick, he couldn’t help but wonder. And lately he had been feeling nauseated now and then, for no apparent reason. He had even thrown up yesterday. Granted it might have been the questionable sushi. But still, he had looked in the mirror, at his thin, sweaty, pasty complexion… and he wondered.

It was ridiculous, utterly impossible. Things like this just didn’t happen. Not to someone like him. He was a good kid, a nice person. And it just… wasn’t possible. It wasn’t. It wasn’t.

There was so much left that he wanted to do.

But every night when he went to bed, he dreamed about them. Their strong fingers digging into his hips. Ripping into him and shooting jets of sperm into his unprotected body. Neither of them had used a condom. Neither Fei Long nor Asami. And it had seemed like he would never get it out, no matter how often he washed himself. Sometimes he felt like the semen was still there inside him, mixing with the blood from his torn rectum and running down his legs. And then he would have to go and take a shower again.

Akihito had never ever kissed anyone. And now, he had not just one, but two sexual partners. Men that he barely knew. Men he didn’t even want to know. There were a lot of differences between Asami and Fei Long, but one thing was the same; they were both absolutely and utterly terrifying. He had dreams about them when he slept. Nightmares every night. They were in his thoughts, with him through the day, all the time. And Akihito couldn’t help but wonder if they really were with him. If one of them had left something of theirs behind inside him.

It itched at him, no matter how many times he told himself he was being ridiculous.

So one day he broke down and ordered the damn test. He could see Asami’s smirk in his mind’s eye even as he did it. He knew it was ridiculous. But he needed it. Needed confirmation.

It arrived three days later, in an unmarked brown cardboard box. Akihito had made sure when he ordered it, that nothing about the contents would be written on the box. He couldn’t stand the idea of anyone knowing what was in it. It was just too embarrassing.

He immediately carried it inside and unwrapped it. Without hesitation he went into the bathroom with it and took the test. Time to put this to bed and end this ridiculous obsessing. The minute it took for the little negative sign to pop up in the window was the longest minute of Akihito’s life.

And where he had expected relief... he found none.

He paced back and forth nervously, holding the test kit in his hand. Staring at the little negative sign in the window. Akihito looked down at the box again. 97% accurate it said. Which really meant that on 3 people out of every hundred… the test would be wrong. He might be one of the three. It was certainly possible. These things took time to show up and it hadn’t been that long. It had barely been a month since Fei Long had kidnapped and Asami had rescued him.

And they had both raped him.

At the memory, he sat down on the toilet and began to compulsively wipe himself again. Even though there was nothing left to wipe. He stopped and put his head in his hands squeezing at his temples to clear his thoughts.

A blood test. That was what he needed. It could detect it sooner, it was more accurate. A blood test would put this obsession to death. It would quiet his mind. He needed a blood test. There were places downtown that did them for free. Confidential and anonymous the sign in the window had said.

Akihito looked in the mirror at his reflection. He was thinner. He had lost weight from the stress. He couldn’t keep thinking about this, he needed to put it to rest. He couldn’t take even one more day of not knowing. He felt like the world was spinning out of his control. He was going to get that blood test.

After calling in sick to work, he hopped on his Vespa and rode it far, far across town where no one who knew him would see him. He parked in front of a small rundown clinic with a sign in the window. Confidential and Anonymous. The letters were in yellow, bold and confident. But Akihito still pulled his hoodie up over his distinctive blond hair. Just in case.

He walked into the lobby. The fluorescent lights gleamed, the vinyl chairs were ripped and the linoleum was peeling off the floor, but the girl at the counter smiled at him kindly. If she hadn’t, if she had looked down at her nose at him, if her eyes had been full of cold contempt, he would have turned around and left. But she did none of those things. She smiled at him. Her eyes were warm and welcoming and Akihito felt the cold knot in his stomach release just a bit as he made his way to the counter.

Her eyes were warm, she was just a bit chubby and she had a red bow in her hair that was falling down. Akihito thought she seemed sweet.

“Good afternoon, how can we help you today?”

Akihito spoke softly, even though there was no one else to hear him, “I- I need to get tested…”

“Which test would you like? Just check the boxes and hand it back to me so I can set up the room.”

She might as well have been taking his order at his favorite sushi restaurant. He held the pencil and slowly checked the box he wanted and handed it to her. Akihito watched her closely as she looked down at it and then smiled back. There wasn’t even a hint of judgement on her face, “Ok, we’ll get you right back hon.”

“You- you don’t need my name or anything?”

Akihito was still surprised, unsure of how this would all play out. Every doctor’s appointment he had ever been to, he had to fill out mountains of paperwork. Practically tell his life story before they would see him.

She shook her head and the red ribbon bobbed back and forth, “Nope, not unless you want to tell me.”

He nodded rather numbly and took a seat. There were lots of magazines, but he didn’t take one. He just sat there, unconsciously gripping his fingers until his knuckles turned white and then he released them, nervously rubbing his sweaty palms on his pants.

Moments later, she came through the door and beckoned him cheerfully. Akihito was surprised. He thought perhaps a nurse would come for him. But no, it was just her. In fact, it looked like she was the only one who worked here. He walked through the hall behind her. All the rooms were empty, but they still went into the last one on the left, as far from the waiting room as possible. Akihito appreciated that for some reason.

It was a shabby little room, even shabbier than the waiting room. But he could smell the bleach and the antiseptic in the air and he knew it was clean. Everything was all set up, the needles and syringes. The little rubber band that they tied above the elbow. It always left little red blood blisters on his fair skin.

He sat down in the chair and put his arm across the support. He didn’t look down at it. Like it wasn’t part of him, already trying to disassociate from the pain he knew that was coming.

“Do you mind rolling up your sleeve for me sweetie?”

As he did it, it occurred to him that she probably thought he was girl. In this sweatshirt, with the hoodie pulled over his hair, he supposed it was hard to tell. He was thin and small. And the baggy sweatshirt he’d been wearing for the past month hid the hard angles of his body that said he was male. He didn’t bother to correct her. So much better for him.

He extended his arm again without looking at it. He looked at the painting across from him. It was a faded print of an ocean scene in a tacky gold frame. It reminded him of the pier. Of the time Asami had comforted him, running his fingers through his hair….

Akihito turned his head and looked at the blank wall. She tied the rubber band tightly around his bicep and it pinched the delicate skin of his arm when she tied the knot. He hardly noticed when the needle penetrated his flesh. It was when she began to draw his blood out that it began to burn. He didn’t move though. She was good, switching the vials while hardly bumping the needle inside him. But then the flow of blood began to slow. She handed him a little ball. It was pink with a strange cat like face painted on it.

“Squeeze it for me.”

Akihito obeyed, staring at the googly eyes painted on the plastic rubber ball. Out of the periphery of his vision, he saw thick red blood spurting into the vial in time with his squeezes. Less than a minute later, she pulled out the needle, “You did so good! Not everybody does so good with that.”

Finally she untied the rubber band and he looked down at the little red blisters that bloomed on his skin. Like blood roses.

Quickly and efficiently, as if she had done it many, many times before, she pressed a cotton ball to his open vein and taped it down.

“Put some pressure on that and it’ll bruise less. It’ll only take me about thirty minute to run all the tests, there’s an arcade a few doors down. Sometimes people like to wait there?”

She leaned forward and patted him on the knee, “It helps the time go by faster.”

Akihito barely registered her words, but he thanked her and walked slowly out to the waiting room. He looked out the glass window at some children running into the arcade. They all had thick silky black hair. Akihito turned away from the window. He didn’t feel like being around children just right now.

He sat down and looked at the clock, gripping his knees. Only thirty minutes. Thirty minutes and he would know. And he could put this to rest. A blood test would be one hundred percent sure.

Now all he had to do was wait.

It almost felt like the clock on the wall had stopped. He could feel a bead of sweat begin to form in his armpit.

Waiting silently, he could hear everything, even the fluorescent hum of the lights.

_“What if I were to gouge out your intestines and mail them to Asami?”_

Akihito jumped as the words rang out in his head, almost as if someone had spoken them in his ear. He could feel the delicate touch of Fei Long’s fingers, trailing gently up his thigh. The way his rectum had ripped when the longhaired man had violently, ruthlessly penetrated him. The blood that ran down his inner thighs as he thrust in again. And again. And again.

The bead of sweat began to slowly roll down his side. It was soon followed by more. It was hot. He should take off this sweatshirt. But he didn’t want to. He liked it. Liked the rolls of fabric that obscured his body. Protecting it.

_“When I see innocent, mischievous little runts like you, I can’t help wanting to torment them.”_

Akihito’s head spun and he hugged himself closer. His head throbbed with blood. It felt thick and heavy. The clock ticked the seconds away. Slowly, but surely.

He could still feel the Asami’s rough hands on his cock. Pulling it, stroking it. What he had done had been far more violating that what Fei Long had done to him. Fei Long had drugged him and used him. But Asami had made him enjoy it. Had stroked him and sucked him. Played with his body for hours, for days. He had made him cry out in pain and in pleasure. Asami had changed everything that he knew about himself. Tore the ground out from under his feet and left him falling, in a world he no longer understood.

They had both planted themselves deep, deep inside him. And now he was here, in this clinic, to find out just how deep.

He waited and waited. Feeling the intensity of every minute. Reliving every detail of being bent over on all fours and filled. He remembered trying to pull away, fighting as the stronger men held themselves deep in his body. The wet surge deep inside his abdomen. The salt of their semen had burned in the open tears of his rectum. And then they receded, a faint trail of red marked their shafts, leaving behind a strange the empty feeling, accompanied by hot pain. The pain had faded long ago. But the emptiness remained to this day.. The rusty smell of his blood mingled with the musky smell of their sex still lingered in his nose.

His nails bit into the armrest. Sweat poured onto his shirt. There were dark wet spots expanding under his armpits.

Finally a noise penetrated the fluorescent hum in his brain. The rotation of a knob, swish of a door and a muted voice flowed into Akihito’s consciousness.

“Would you like to go in the back?”

He did but he couldn’t wait that long. Not one more second. He shook his head and reached almost desperately for the paper in her hands. She handed it to him gently, “Here are your test results.”

His hands were almost trembling too much to take the paper. What was written on it could change his life, forever.

He stared at the words, scanning past all the negative signs to the one he was looking for.

“Negative,” Akihito whispered. “HIV negative,” he repeated, letting it soak in.

The tears began to flow before he even looked up at her, falling on the page and blotting out the words. She smiled kindly at him and held out the tissues, as if she had expected tears, no matter what the results were. As if she had done it many, many times before, she knelt down in front of him and opened her arms.

“May I?” She asked softly and Akihito nodded, his eyes were filled with tears and she looked like a blurry blob. All he could make out was that little red bow in her hair as she pulled him in close for a hug.

“It’s going to be ok. Everything is going to be ok.”

Somehow he knew she had spoken those words before, to many others before him, no matter what the results were. Akihito drew a ragged breath in. At least for him, it was over now. They hadn’t left anything behind inside him. They hadn’t changed him. He was still him. He was still whole.

He was still whole.

Akihito pressed a kiss to her forehead, “Thank you.”

Time froze for a moment. Then she nodded and squeezed his hand just as another person in a baggy hoodie walked timidly through the door. Akihito could see the hesitation in their shuffling steps. The haunting fear and the shadows in their eyes and he knew he was not alone. And neither were they. Not as long as this clinic stood and the girl with the red bow in her hair waited with a smile.

She stood and welcomed them to the clinic. She patted the hooded figure on the back and winked at Akihito as she passed.

He finally smiled back at her, gratitude shining from his face. On the way out, he pulled off the black sweatshirt and wadded it into the garbage can. Only thirty minutes had passed but everything had changed. The ache in his head remained, but it was fading fast. The sweat on his skin dried on its own, evaporating in the sunlight, leaving only the faintest trails.

His body was his again, and his alone.

-

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